Originally, I was pretty gung ho about this "dating again" thing. I began believing that dating could be fun, carefree, even, especially when done the "right" way.
Let me say this: dating Dr. Henry's way is neither fun nor carefree, but what else could I have expected from a therapist!?
The whole point of his book, in my opinion, is not to get yourself a date or even many dates. It's to get you thinking about dating and relationships in a new way. Now that I'm a few weeks into it, I am discovering that there are things about this process that I like, and things I hate.
- Trying to meet people. Do I like the potential outcome? Of course. Do I like the process? Not at all. The hate is focused on the "trying." I don't like introducing myself to men.
- Dating. What??? Yes I have discovered that ultimately I do not like dating. I have areas where I have not healed, and dating exposes them. I'm glad for that, so I can ask for healing, but let's be honest, that kinda sucks. I'm blessed to get healing but realizing you're sick is just not my idea of fun.
- The idea of casual dating. But this little theory has major holes. Like when do you so casually dating? 5 months? 6 months? Wait and ask someone (seriously?)? All of a sudden something very casual has become something calculated and even complicated.
That's it. I can't think of anything else I like.
So those are my second thoughts of the day. I am dating someone but I would say that while it's casual in one sense, it's totally not in another. We see each other a lot. More than I would consider purely casual. Yet we haven't had a DTR conversation and I'm not even 100% sure I'm ready for one.
Oi. Who said this would be fun?