That question is circling around my head right now. A good friend of mine has just gotten engaged. She has been married before. She's beautiful and deserves all the happiness in the world, not just because she is beautiful inside and out but because ever since the very first day I met her, there was something about her that just screamed romance and love.
Five of us were pretty close in college, the one I mentioned included. All of them are either married, in a very serious relationship, or engaged, except me. I have not actually ever been in a serious relationship (in hindsight), nor engaged, nor married. And I'm going on 34 in a couple of months.
Here's the thing: I believe in love. I desire romance. I believe we were created for it.Some of us may never have it, but I don't believe it's because we weren't created for it; we were.
There are so many reasons love and romance do not flourish in so many of our lives.
- Some of us are frightened of love or romance or marriage or all of the above.
- Some of us have very low self esteem and consider ourselves unworthy.
- Some are just extra cynical.
- Some are train wrecks emotionally.
The funny thing to me is that even those 4 reasons don't stop love, romance, or marriage from happening. Surely you know at least one person who fits one of those issues and yet is married or in love. I know MORE than one person like that.
And I'm willing to bet most of us know at least one person who has been married more than once, more than twice, more than three times, more than four times... that used to be totally unheard of. But it's not anymore. I dated (briefly, BRIEFLY) a man who was literally going on his 4th wife - with the other three STILL LIVING. It was insane to me.
All of this has me wondering if marriage is a destiny or not. Are some people just destined? And perhaps I am not.
No... I Am a Daughter of the King
Something changed over the past year as I began to invest much more in my reconciliation and relationship with the Most High God. God has begun to show me, in very vivid, detailed pictures, what it means to be a daughter in the court of the King. What it means to literally be a princess, a lady in waiting, in service to the King who serves the Kingdom.
And all I can say is this: the court is large, and there are many, many daughters. There will be many, many weddings in the Kingdom of God. I truly believe that one day, there will be a wedding in which I am the bride.
The King is good. He is understanding, compassionate, rich in love. He knows me inside and out. He knows exactly where I am developing; He knows where he needs to shelter me, where He can set me free.
He is withholding nothing for me. Nothing. I want for nothing and do not feel deprived, forgotten, abandoned, or that something is wrong with me. I feel complete, wholly loved.
I am not afraid. I'm not afraid of being single. I'm not afraid of being alone. For "there is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out all fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18
Jesus has spent many hours with me, loving me, romancing me. In all of that time, I have grown close to Him and close to the Father. I know my King. I love being in the court of the King. I love the dance and to dance for my Father. And I love His love more than anything.
And so I will spend these nights with my King in His court among His servants and dance. Better is one day here than anywhere else, and I rejoice in the honor of being able to look directly at His face without having to look around anyone else's to get a glimpse.
One day, the King will give me away to a man he finds worthy; a man to whom I will be married and together we will continue to be in the service of the King. But until then, I will dance in His court joyfully and with gratitude, in service to the King.